Have You Ever Felt Stuck?
Oppressed, depressed and depleted? Well I have. After eleven years of service I had lost my identity and was, to put it mildly, miserable and at the end of my rope.
An opportunity
came up where I was alone for a week, and here is what I did. I packed! Sleeping bag, tent, backpack, packer stove, my trusty camping Teapot, ice chest (with whatever happened to be in the fridge), jugs of water, firewood, lighter and of course TEA. No Plan! I had a full tank of gas and I just started driving. Somewhere along highway 55 It occurred to me, it’s mid June and mid-week campers would be far and few between in Idaho’s Sawtooth Wilderness.
The Sawtooth Wilderness
That’s where I would go, Grand Jean, in Idaho’s incredible Sawtooth Wilderness area. I was right! Fifteen years ago I had camped at Grand Jean with our family. As I began the journey down the dirt road and the miles fell away, my heart filled with excitement. No distractions, just open windows, pine filled air and the sound of the river down below.
Entering Camp
The camp was empty and quiet. Alone, my soul began crying out to the forest like the peeling of an onion. As the darkness closed in I built a fire and sat in the dark sipping Calming Sleep Tea and listening to the crackling of the fire and the rushing of the stream. At dawn I built a small fire prepared a brisk pot of Orange Pu-erh Tea for clarity and energy. The morning was spectacular and I was anxious to get started. I packed water, my emergency water filter and a light lunch of apple, almond butter, carrot sticks, celery sticks, my special Matcha power bars that just happened to be left over from a tea ceremony. I donned my hiking hat and off I went .
Signing the registry
I signed the wilderness registry and advanced off into the back country. The sun warmed as it came over the mountain and the trail narrowed as I climbed higher. The peaks glistened with snow and the air was clean and crisp. Everything was alive with energy! I was alive! I felt a connection with this wild place deep in every cell of my being. My feet seemed to barely touch the trail. I experienced little effort as the trail urged me onward. It was strange how affected I was by my surroundings. I was completely overcome by the astounding beauty. I cried a lot on that trail. The path came to a fallen tree over a fast moving creek.
Time for a choice
It was time for a choice as the sun was getting lower on the horizon. I had already walked 16 miles and I needed to make a decision. As I ate I contemplated the situation, cross over the fallen tree, or head back? I was unsure how far I had gone. I chose to turn back, as magical as it had been. Darkness was approaching and I was starving. I built a fire made a humble meal of beans, rice, veggie burger, salsa and a pot of tea. After dinner my ukulele was welcome company. Sometime after falling asleep in my tent I woke to a bear wandering through my camp. No Worries! The final day, I won the race against rain to pack it up! Time for the Sacajawea Hot Spring. It saddened me to leave this majestic place, but I was looking forward to a long, hot soak.
I found Ecstasy
I know now it was the Ecstasy that I found in the wilderness. The wilderness was the wilderness of my dreams and my soul. It was the astounding beauty and the silence with only the shushing of the pines. This was a spiritual high. I found in this landscape my naked soul of pure joy. I want more!
